All relationships have their tough and complicated moments. But maybe, on the first place, we should have a healthy relationship with ourselves, before starting to consider the ones with the outside world. If we can’t live happily on our own, how can we do this with other people? If we are afraid of heights, we don’t go bungee jumping, right? You can’t run before you can walk. But on the other hand, if we always surrender to our fears, we will never be able to overcome them. So the best thing you can do is just try. Even if you fall, you can always get back up. You just should have enough courage and faith in yourself.
However, in real life when we try and try and try… and we never succeed, we just start to give up a little every time we fail. Until we just give up completely from the idea to have a perfect relationship with somebody. And we are left on a crossroad with two possible choices. We can either end up thinking that we will die alone and nobody will even realize that we are dead for a long time. Or we can just find somebody with whom we get along and invest a lot of energy and time to make it work. We devote our life to that one person and we are often forced to choose friendship over love or love over friendship. We are living in a world where you can’t have it all, so you just need to pick one and make it work. Often people deem that the love relationships are exhausting and in your twenties it’s better to be single and live your life than to devote so much time and effort to some guy. But most of them don’t realize that the friendships are as demanding as the love relationships.
People want all of your attention and if you can’t give it to them, they just leave your life and move on to find somebody else who can satisfy their needs. This applies to all kinds of relationships and to all people – to me, to you, to that guy sitting next to you or to the waitress in your favourite coffee shop. It is just a part of our nature. We can’t have it all, but we are constantly trying to have it all. This is our faith and hope for a better future. But we often forget that there will be no better future if we don’t work for it. And if we just throw away all the people that have touched our hearts but have made some mistakes, we may throw to the garbage our soul mate as well. That is what I call the wicked circle in which we are all stuck. We trust someone, they trust us, then something shitty happens and boom… they are in your past. And we suffer, and we feel disappointed and we lose faith in men, women, and humans as a whole. Then we start to protect ourselves from these awful human beings out there, we start giving away less from our true self to our so called ‘friends’ or ‘girl/boyfriends’. We become actors in the real life.
Moreover, in our fast paced life, nothing is constant. When we graduate from high school and leave to go to college/university, we leave a whole bunch of people behind us. Good or bad, they have been there with us through these years and we have shared so much memories and worries together. But life forces us to leave. And when this happens over and over again, you just start thinking ‘Why should I suffer every time I leave some place, when I could just use some people for fun, just not to be alone?!’ And we start using people again to protect ourselves.
In the end are we living a real life at all… or we are just using and protecting ourselves…? Is this what we want from life? Is it the best we can get from life?
What would you rather do – always protect yourself or just live your real life? But can you live a real life in a world full of fake people?